not coping

[outlander]

ahh yep ok @Former-Member

ive read your post through my emails Li1 so ill reply anyway
im glad you have soemthing that can help you out with your anxiety. Your not giving in to anything rather accepting help. Which seems you need and im gld your getting.

Im glad you were ablt to go on your own for abit today. Dont feel guilty, you know thats her trick for your to give in. your strong and can and will get through this.

Hmm ive been a right mess today and ive realised I literally have no zest for life and that is what scares me. If I have nothing and one day I cant conrol my urges.. well I dont know what will happen now.
Tonight ive realised the state my foot is in. I got up and went to walk into the kitchen and my foot gave in and completely slumped to the ground and now I have a sore tailbone because that took the brunt of it when I landed .

[Former-Member]

I'm wondering if I gave birth to you twenty or so years ago and I forgot @outlander lol.When do you see the GP?.The script was only for ten tablets,they don't give it in large doses obvious reasons.Ive hesitated in it because of my "danger episodes".I used to have a lot of psychotic episodes when the pressure was too much.Get it occasionally when I feel defeated,a voice telling me I'm defeated in so many words.Psychotic depression.<br>Yes I came home and felt a tonne on my shoulders but I spent too much money today,doesn't take much.<br>I attempted to do a uni course when I was your age outlander,did 12 units in psychology,social welfare by Distance.Had anxiety then with family and that's when my estranged eldest sibling made out,along with my mother I was violent.I dropped out and owe a HECS debt at my age.Yesterday when I opened my emails there was one from the ATO regarding my debt.I already was highly strung,my mother putting crap on me.I deleted it because I couldn't handle it and had a massive overwhelming strong "I have no choice" attack.I rang the ATO because I knew I deleted it and was concerned they wanted the debt repayed when I have no job.He said no,not til you are employed.I can't see that happening outlander,I'm worried if anything happens to me I will leave a debt my mother will have to deal with.I have a bit of superannuation,from working over the years but I read the other day insurance can chew it up.I had to give in to this medication because I only have to get stressed and I'm off in my world,but I wonder how long I can keep myself safe for.Take a antiinflammatory if you haven't already taken one.I have to too.

[outlander]

lol @Former-Member maybe you have a long lost daughter. it sounds like we match...

yeah i get the same with my scripts, they only give me a weeks worth becasue of my uh tendencies and thoughts and it forces me to go abck every week to see someone.

i had having debt. its a big stressor for me so i understand where your coming from about that.

your not giving in, your accepting help. keep saying that to yourself. your not giving in.

im glad you are accepting some help again, i hope you will be able to get abit of a hold of your anxiety and make life jsut that bit more manageable.

already taken pain meds and everything. i think those are working over time, usually i feel abit better but im aching in my neck, back and foot now. not surprised there. a knock to my back like that has probably now put my disk out 😞 arghh it never ends does it!

[Former-Member]

I'm not getting help @outlander,besides what the doctor gave me a script for.Cant see myself trusting anyone again .I did think about going back to the psychologist I saw last year,last time in January,but I know it's useless and she leaves a lot to be desired.I think I'd be better going to the park and talking to a tree.lol.

Yes ,my knees play up as well at times outlander due to the mpact of the foot.Talk tomorrow daughter lol🙋

[outlander]

lol @Former-Member (mother):heart:

goodnight talk tomorrow

[outlander]

@Sans911 @Snowie @eth @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom
thank you everyone for checking up on it, im finding the thread id normally use triggering so im going to come over here instead.
ATM things are tough beyond what words can describe. I don't think im ready to talk about things atm but I wanted to say thank you to you all

[Faith-and-Hope]

💜💖 @outlander 

[outlander]

So pretty @Faith-and-Hope thank you

[outlander]

@Sans911 how are you going tonight?

[Bunniekins]

@outlander Hey outlander I wondered how you were going on your usual thread ..... good to see you here though 🙂 Love you girl. Take care of yourself. Love peaxxx