@CherryBomb in answer to your questions, hubby tells me he that he can behave however he wants, and that I shouldn't "go on" about it all the time because he doesn't like it.
The hospital never has acknowledged that he now has an ABI. All they have ever repeatedly said is that the surgery (to remove stage 3 cancer) was successful. The notes show a perfect surgery and recovery, despite there were things that happened that do not appear on the notes. The statute of limitation applies to medical claims and we we're able to pursue it since we didn't have him diagnosed for almost 3 years. The specialist he saw in Brisbane said there was nothing could be done and seemed quite bored by it all. The doctors we have seen have also had no idea of how to manage an ABI and couldn't even find a suitable organisation to contact. That's how I ended up here. I did see disability services in SA (because we've been in multiple states the past 2 years) and spoke to a social worker, but the system is not the same in Qld, where we are permanently if I can manage it.
If I could wake up tomorrow and things were how I'd like. I'd be able to manage my pain (which I'm sure is exaccerbated incredibly by stress) and be able to work or volunteer. Hubby would be in some form of therapy or care one to three days a week and we would have a house where there are services and where I can drive myself around to get time out, make friends and get support. That's what I'm working on, that's going to take time. The minute I mention settling down to hubby, he has to run. He has prevented me going to inspect multiple houses that we might be able to make an offer on, in multiple places. However, I had to fight to stop him making an impulsive offer on a house that has recently been refurbished due to flooding as it's right on a river.
In just over a week from now, we're doing a suburban housesit his friend arranged next door to him (hubby thinks the friend did it to make a move on me which is ridiculous) and that will be until Christmas, so I have a chance to start doing some of those things and will have his friend and wife to help me achieve it.
