Hi @Former-Member

Thank you for your post, it was nice to hear from you.

Yeah, i do struggle with no parents around to love and support me.  This is the hardest part of my journey not having my family along me. 

My memories came out 6 yrs ago when I was seeing a psycholgoist for work stress.  After a few weeks of sessions, he was asking me questions about my childhood, family, siblings - it all came out.  I couldn't talk, i just sobbed and sobbed.  I couldn't tell my husband or children.  I finally told my husband with the help of my psychologist after a few weeks. And then i waited about 6 months to tell my parents - what a mistake that was.  The biggest mistake i ever made. I thought that by telling them i would get the love and support - but no it was the complete opposite.  yelling at me my mum says 'how dare you wait over 30 yrs to tell me' and 'you have betrayed the family'. 

yes i suppressed the abuse for over 30 yrs.  and i dissociated so many times.  i am married and have 3 adult children (24,23,20).  they are supportive to a certain extent, my husband struggles to understand my mental illness but i do have a great GP, psychiatrist and about to see a new psychologist in November.  i suffer from depression, anxiety and also have borderline personality disorder.

i find writing a bit difficult, i get very emotional and then can't stop sobbing.  Although i do find writing poems okay, it gives me a chance to express my feelings good or bad, sad or happy.

take care @Former-Member,