Sorry you feel like the world wants to shut you up.  @Former-Member Glad you reach out to counteract the withdrawal and SI.  I accept your religious conviction and style. I met some meditators at one concert and said I was having a "sabbatical" from religion.  

Yes I do get those feelings, but I do not think that is why I am quiet.  I am  feeling reflective about the forum, busy with son ( we are doing 2 driving lessons per week atm)  and I have been busy singing 2 concerts last week.  I have aligned myself with "noise making" in an acceptable way.  lol ...  One concert was laidback and the other was full on rhythm with a big percussion section 5 timpanis and various other drums and marimbas.  

Next week we are doing a fulltime course across town.  Just letting you know in advance so you dont worry about me. 

 I still struggle with the little self of me .... floating in a huge ocean ... meeting both predators and friendly schools of fish ...

Thanks for your beautiful supportive messages   @Former-Member @Maggie