might sound over simple but how about you just get another job @MDT  ? okay give yourself a timeframe to get one. 

it might be 'just admin' but prob better than sitting at home worrying yourself into a corner ?

Maybe re-evaluate goals ? perhaps GP or counsellor would be a good starting point, then some sort or structure, or else things dont make sense? lots of people struggle without structure, or it's okay for a while, well til it's not ... 

Any thoughts ?