@CarersHelpline - it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've tried in before but couldn't make it last very long because I felt sorry for him, but this time, I am tired and exhausted from the abuse and something in me has shifted. I love him to bits and pieces and only want him to be happy but I can no longer jeopardise my own mental health in the process of trying to help his. I hope he seeks help and I hope he can get well and I hope when that happens I can be well enough to support him through that. But as I said already that needs to be as a result of his own desire. And maybe as you've said to another contributer, it can and often is a significant incident that is the catylist....maybe that will be soon for him or maybe it was last week with a trip with the police to the Mental Health Unit. Unfortunately, I can't know that and one of the hardest parts of dealing with a loved one with mental health issues is the stepping back from wanting to fix them. And I found that as a mum, the transition from  "mothering" your child and "supporting" an adult child who can and should make their own decisions is one of the most difficult transitions I've ever been faced with. My maternal urge to continually save him from his self is incredibly persistent.