Mum Severe Anxiety / Depression +++

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope, and glad you had a small WH breakthrough. That's a good analogy - "like bathing a cat" lol

I pray patience for you (and longsuffering).  It will all be worth it in the end. God's in charge, and nothing can separate us from His love 💜

Do you think He forgives suicide?

[Faith-and-Hope]

That's a hard one @Former-Member ...... I think it is more that there lies an eternity between the suicide act and actual state of death in God's beyond-our-time-time in which we become aware of Him if we haven't been before ..... and that is a time to reflect on what has happened and make our peace with him ..... if that makes sense. He understands all, including our experiences, state of mind, state of mental health, and what brought us to that moment ..... but I don't know anything for sure.

That is just my personal belief, and that He is a God of love, who never created our world to exist in this far-from-perfect-but-still-beautiful-in-it's-creation form. We have to do the best we can with what we have, and for those of us who are believers, that means we are all held within His grace regardless.

💜

[Former-Member]

I feel the same about suicide & faith too (now there's a contradiction in terms for ya lol). I just cancelled all my commitments 'till 30th. Might lock my phone in the car and ignore everyone but my girl and God for the next week. The phone carries 90% of my relationships & I'm sick of it - doesn't feel real. And if mum dies - I don't wanna know.

[Faith-and-Hope]

It's hard @Former-Member ....... just batten down the hatches any way you can and ride it out. It's all any of us can do ......

Peace be with you ....... ♥️

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member

It sounds as though you are going through a very difficult time emotionally at the moment, Have you some support in place that you can draw on at the moment? 

Darcy

[Appleblossom]

Do what you have to do to get through @Former-Member

@Faith-and-HopeYou have a sensitive and caring perpspective and can probably imagine I have thought about these things. It helps me to see you both discuss god and suicide.

I would have loved to have people to discuss this stuff with closer to the time of all the deaths.  My porr mother was understandably just TOO DEFENDED about it all.  I never blamed her for the deaths but she cold not let that it in to salve her soul and therefore have a nurturing good relationship with me.

She made statements and proclamations.  First up was almost superstitious stuff about it being against the religion. It was her way of dealing with her own internal torture, beliefs and religion.  In last couple of years she pronounced that God forgave my brother and sister.  

I was not that interested in her notion of god judging or condoning my brother and sister. I knew I could not budge her as she was very stubborn. I had completely different concerns and beliefs about it all. More seeing their pain and the social injustices.  Not seeing mum as that big a part of it as I knew she had done her best. Mostly I was trying to prevent it from hapening in the first place. Her sense of misplaced guilt made it impossible to relate to her. What a muddle.

There was not enough money or time for me to have enough psychological sessions for the amount of HEAVY emotional issues life thrust at me ... so its til now that I start having decent respectful aware interactions about suicide.  

Thank you both so much.

I know you both are going through very difficult times.  ... Yes bathing cats can be tough.

Man in a Box:

 

 Squatted Woman offering of milk

[Faith-and-Hope]

♥️ @Appleblossom ..... I know you have had it sooo tough, and are still doing it tough ..... with you in thought and wishing you courage, faith, hope and strength more than you know.

Hearing you about your son ...... just wanted to know ..... I am listening ..... and caring ......

Hugs and hugs Hon ....... keep swimming those rapids and I am so glad that you are receiving psychological counselling, with respect most importantly, after all the repeated traumas you have suffered.

You're a gem @Appleblossom ...... 🌸💕

Go gently in your forward journey .....

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member
Are you or another @Former-Member able to check in on lapses

[Former-Member]

I have you guys @Former-Member and survived worse than this. But its real nice that you care. thanks, I have a rubarb pie & fresh cream, a friend is popping in tomorrow for coffee (which isn't always fun but someone), my son rings now and then. Don't worry 💜

[Faith-and-Hope]

♥️ @Former-Member ..... thanks for checking back in .....

🌻🌻🌻 - prezzie from my mum .....