Lived Experience Forum

[Sans911]

@Bubbles3 you are having a tough day, aren't you? Have you read the SANE forum guidelines? Sometimes if you post stuff like methods of harm, they'll delete it. You'll usually get an email explainibg why. I have had words in my post highlighted for correction. You still sound pretty angry, and that's entirely understandable. But it seems like everything on these forums right now is triggering you. Could you perhaps take some time out for just a bit? Take a shower, have a drink of something, go for a Walk? Everyone is here to help @Bubbles3. We just want to help you get through the day safely, and hopefully make you feel a little better.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Bubbles3 I've emailed you something. Perhaps some of the things @Sans911 has suggested would be nice and "mindful" to distract you from being caught will Kelly all night....

[Former-Member]

The final straw. It's all lie. Everything was a lie.

[Former-Member]

I worry that is it my fault. I was asked at early on if anything had happened to me and I had said no. If I had just told the truth then maybe what is happening now wouldn't be happening. Maybe I wouldn't have had to go through the rest of it. It still haunts me till this day and I have so much guilt around it. So many unanswered questions of why this and why that. Will I ever know the answers, I don't think so. Can I live with the guilt, I don't think so. 

[Maggie]

I can't get anything right online or off. All I do is mess up others along with myself. If your best intentions are all wrong, where do you go from there. I don't belong on this planet, I don't belong anywhere, I'm a misfit, always have been and always will be. No one has ever wanted me, everyone walks away. I'm just pure bad and everyone knows, and I'm sorry.

[Former-Member]

My husband goes in for his CT scan to further investigate a mass growth that was detected a few days ago by ultrasound in his bladder. He already suffers prostate cancer. I am so worried. I am so scared, but I have to hide this from my husband with everything I have to keep strong for him or I will bring him down. This is so hard, having no one to talk to or lean on for moral support. Always dealing with everything alone. 

Not sure if I can do this. Not getting much sleep. Tears are filling my eyes and my anxiety is overwhelming. If only I had a sister or family member to sit with me in the waiting room while I await the verdict. I tell myself that everything will pass which usually works, but not this time. I am always carrying this overwhelming worry and grief alone. I am just not sure how long I can carry this for before I truly crack wide open. But I have to be strong......It just gets so too much. Always alone............God always alone in it

[Sans911]

@Former-Member- oh, what an utterly horrible time you are going through. It's sounds really scary & I completely understand how alone and overwhelming it must be for you. Do you absolutely not have a trusted friend, mh support work or someone who knows you well. If you don't I'm really sorry. Most hospitals have social workers attached; I would high recommend getting in touch with one. You shouldn't have this burden alone. I know it's not the same as the 'real' thing, but I'm here anytime you want to talk, about anything. Big hugs xx

[Former-Member]

Hello dear @Sans911

I really needed to read those words in your post. Thank you so much for replying and for your support. I feel stronger for it. I do have a few trusted friends but both of them have cancer as well! It such a situation - I don't want to burden them as they have a lot on their own plate at the moment as well. But I will definitely look into social workers attached to hospitals etc that you suggested as others have mentioned this as well and it's helped them. Thank you also for your offer to talk. I will take you up on that sometimes if that's okay. Really appreciated. Sending hugs back to you 🤗

[Sans911]

@Former-Member- you're so very welcome. Anytime. Take care of yourself.

[Adge]

On my first day back at work, I was notified via sms (at 5.00pm) today – for requirement to attend a full-day training day tomorrow (Tuesday). Which is my non-contracted day off.

Despite checking & re-checking all work emails prior to returning to work today – there was no prior notification of this.

I’ve done my best to calm & settle myself – yet it sent me into an immediate tail-spin. Which effectively cost me (wiped out) any plans or hopes that I did have, for the rest of the day.

Such things cannot be easily accommodated by anyone (at all) at such short-notice.

It defeats the purpose of having insisted on having Tuesdays off - as recommended by my Psychologist, to ease work stress. And to allow me to schedule essential appointments that have been repeatedly cancelled by my unpredictable work schedule.

Adge