not feeling good

[Zoe7]

@BlueBay Thinking of you my beautiful friend 

...still on your shoulder xoxoxo

[BlueBay]

Hi @Zoe7

My beautiful dear friend 

I am sorry to worry you last night.  As you know I wasn't in a good frame of mind, actually very negative and didn't want to even continue living.

But here I am, another day 🙂

I took a tablet and fell asleep and had the most weirdest dreams again about my old childhood house.

I am getting ready to go to work, i got a call yesterday to say if i can cover another persons shift.  Damn it was supposed to be my day off but anyway i will think of the extra money.

I am sorry to have written what i did about the tablets last night.  that was how i felt though - to take the whhole lot but i didn't.

Thank you for the lovely photo of you and me.  It made me smile.

@Faith-and-Hope @Appleblossom thanks both for the support of senidng me some photos.  They were beautiful.  

I don't feel strong when i write on here when in a bad way.  i feel so weak, child like and in need of help. i dont know why i get like this at times.

I wish you all a beautiful calm and positive day

Love BB 

[Zoe7]

No need to be sorry- you know I only worry because I care about you @BlueBay

I do know a little of how you think when you are feeling so bad - it is all consuming and you really can't see a way out or a future at all - I get that my friend. That is why I am here for you - to listen,and to help you get through those times - because I know how very, very, overwhelming and draining it is when you are in the middle of it. The only thing that really helps me is when I have others 'walking' with me, holding me up when I can't hold myself up and showing me some light when all I see is the darkness. 

...and @BlueBay this is where you can write how you are feeling - it is where you can be that inner child and share your pain because this is where you feel safe and know that someone is listening.

I hope today goes by very quickly for you and I will be around on and off today if you need to chat.

Take it as easy as you can today my wonderful friend

Here for you anytime I can...

Sending you all my love and huge hugs

...still on your shoulder

Zoe 

[Former-Member]

@BlueBayI wish I could send this to you privately.
You shouldn't be worried about setting off people's triggers. It's not something people need to be worrying about. And I feel I need to be honest about what set me off originally - it was a triggering post that was edited and re-edited several times and thus I received the email notification and post around 15 times in a short period. And I simply couldn't cope. Had I received it once, I would have retreated and coped in my own way. But receiving it multiple times, felt like a machine gun to my guts when I'm already having trouble coping with the stressors in my life.
If you post within the guidelines and don't post the same thing multiple times, even if people are triggered, they can cope and look after themselves. Please don't worry about triggering other Forum members, just focus on you right now. 
I hope you are feeling better as the day goes on and I hope your shift at work brings a pleasant distraction for you. ❤️

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Former-Member .... good morning ...,,

I think we have been on the same thread at times recently, but haven't actually met ....

That is a very good point in regard to multiple edits of the same post ...,, I feel the impact of it and I don't have lived experience that gives me the sort of triggers you are taking about.

When I first started on the forums, when I re-read my own posts, I picked up spelling mistakes .... particularly as my autocorrect has gremlins in it I think ...,, and it comes up with some hilarious alternative words to the ones I have chosen, and know I am spelling correctly in the moment ..... and then with a flash of its own logic it will change "integrity" into "stupidity" at the last possible second ..... and especially if the post is a long one, or my time is short, I haven't gone back to read over the piece before sending it .....

I also have afterthoughts, the odd tweak I might want to make .... and did .... with a repost ...., and then someone on the forum pointed out to me that each edit was resulting in a re-post ....., and they managed (that just turned into "mangled" before my eyes .... and into, into "until") to catch me and let me know after only three versions ..... so when it is many more than that, yes .... it does create a hammer effect.

Now I think very carefully about whether I need to correct the errors, or whether the forum members can just ride over them .... and I notice now that everyone is tolerant of spelling errors, because they prefer that to multiple edits.

And when I feel the need to add something, I generally do it in a fresh post, and refer to my previous one in it .... especially the autocorrect meddling.

💜

[Faith-and-Hope]

@BlueBay

I hope you have a settled day at work today

My understanding is that when we are responding in a childlike way it is our inner child responding, and we know that you have an injured inner child, so there is no need to apologise at all ...... it is just a natural part of your self-expression.

Your workplace is a very adult environment. I think your inner child won't show up much during work time for that reason, so hopefully it's only your adult mind that needs to stay balanced and distracted in her thoughts. With adult maturity in charge, that can be a strain when you have a lot going on in your inner world, and that can cause headaches ..... so take your work breaks as an opportunity to breathe deeply, gently roll your shoulders to help release tension in your neck and shoulder muscles, and softly massage your temples next to your eyes.

And drink lots of water .... that helps to flush out stress hormones .....

Hugs ❤️

[Former-Member]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, I just don't want anyone thinking they can't write what they need because of my hissy fits.
But at the same time I want people to be respectful of the impacts of what they write here.
I think we can always write another post explaining ourselves better or acknowledging spelling/grammar mistakes (not that anyone cares about them) than editing the post.
But mainly, I'm just worried about @BlueBay.

[Former-Member]

Also @Faith-and-Hope - what's your story? I've not read anything about you.

[Faith-and-Hope]

I agree @Former-Member .....

It needs to be a balance, and I wasn't aware that it caused multiple emails because the one posting the edits doesn't receive all of those .... it just goes to the people receiving notifications from that thread.

I am glad someone mentioned it to me. How would I have known otherwise ? It was an easy fix ......

My story is on the Carer's forum in a thread that is now lengthy, because it took many months to try to find my feet. On the LE forum it's sorta spread around, and that too is to reduce the impact on others.

Short version - my hubby is in denial with an atypical eating disorder, so for a very long time now we have had no diagnosis and no real solutions ..... just hanging on trying to walk him home.

I have posted the different presentations of his illness under the What's New discussion topic, so interested people can read them there and have an idea of what our story is.
That of course is the objective sharing of informations, but their is a human side, and cost.

🌷💜

[Former-Member]

I'll go look up the posts you've made, And I've read a bit about your hubby, but I was wondering about you.
Dog vs Cat, Beach vs Mountains, what have you worked as, what would you want to work as... etc etc.
But I'm also just terribly nosy.