I can’t cope

[Captain24]

Yeah it has been and still is @tyme

Also I don’t do well with getting in trouble. It takes me back to really bad childhood stuff. Even though I deserve it. Thats why I was going to leave. I figured I wouldn’t be good enough for other stuff now. Even though I want to. 

Distraction would be good. 

Jett had a playpen from Kmart. A mesh one. As it was small enough. He wasn’t allowed much room. We had to seal the top of it as he would just jump out. In the end he just chewed a hole in the side and climbed out! 

The bigger and older she gets it’ll be harder to keep her in. 

[tyme]

I hear that @Captain24 .

Getting trouble never ain't that nice. Anything I can do?

What???? Chewed a hole from the top of his pen!!! What genius is that? I need to feed Ruby what you feed Jett! Ruby isn't the brightest... lol

[Captain24]

Nah.. I just have to get over the fear. @tyme. I revert back to that child cowering in the corner. 

Yes he did. He is such a little arse! The attitude on him is ridiculous. But then he just looks at you with that delicate little face and it’s all good. 

I feed him Advance Puppy kibble and Prime 100 slow cooked puppy food. 

[tyme]

@Captain24 ,

It sounds like you have every right to feel the way you do. It's not easy for the best of us.

Good to see you on the hangout tonight 🙂 How interesting about your parents' marriage!

Also, Ruby doesn't like kibble. She picks all the food around it and leaves the kibble. She doesn't like beans either and leaves them.

[Captain24]

Jett stopped eating kibble so I had to mix it with the slow cooked. 

So I have managed to do my front  and back lawns today, start packing but it’s nowhere near where it should be. Also I had a chat to my bestie and I had an email I had to send and managed to do that tonight which is an achievement in its self considering everything. 

So I really have tried my best today. But I still fell in a heap. Does that mean I’m useless? @tyme 

[tyme]

Packing already??? @Captain24 

I have an overnight conference I'm attending next week and I haven't even thought about anything yet... people keep messaging me to ask what I'm wearing, how I'm going, what my agenda is.. I'm thinking, "I don't even know what's happening tonight, let alone next week!" It includes a gala dinner and it goes until midnight on the first night, and then the next day it finishes in the late arvo... 

Considering how hard things have been for you, well done on getting the front and back lawns done!

As for being 'hopeless', if falling despite trying hard today equals hopeless, then I'm hopeless ten times over.

We really are our own worst critic, right??? If anything, you're a fighter - big time!

[Captain24]

Oh.. I’ve normally got most stuff packed by now. I need to pack the car this time next week! @tyme Plus I need to prepared for all wether. I also want to walk down to the beach so I need appropriate stuff. I would like to go to church so I need the right stuff for that too. 

My anxiety would be through the roof! I really wish that I could be more relaxed about it. You sound just so calm. 

I just feel like it doesn’t matter what I do I just can’t catch a break. Even for one night. 

I did do some shopping today. I ordered an indigenous polo shirt and a travel mug. I’m hoping the shirt fits. I’m not sure [edited]

[Snowie]

Hi @Captain24 

Been a few days since I was last on.

Hoping things are going ok. It is hard when we try to pack so much into our days.

Sending lots of 💕💕

[Captain24]

How are you @Snowie 

Im currently sitting at the hairdressers. It takes 3 hrs to do my hair. I hate having it done. After this I have an online meeting for an hour. 

I’ve had my tax done and got a refund so that’s good. Not much but not a bill like some of them at work. 

I heard from the hospital today. I had to contact them. My admission is all sorted for 11am Monday. That’s one less thing off my mind. 

Still way too much for my head to deal with. I just can’t seem to calm the anxiety.