Onwards

[MDT]

Sick of it. What is the point to my life? I'm so boring and unfulfilled. People say I have talents and potential but so what. What's the point of having it if it isn't used or anything is done with it. I think they are easily impressed. Why is my life so filled with boredom and misery. 

[Daisydreamer]

Hi @MDT,

Feeling unfulfilled in life can be so painful, and it sounds like those feelings are sitting really heavy today. Do you feel comfortable to talk a little bit more about what is happening for you today? 

At different points in my recovery journey I have something similar; the boredom of stepping into another day that looks the same and unchanging, and the want to do something that would give me a sense of meaning and achievement in my day. For me it felt like everything was grey. What does that feeling look and feel like for you?

[MDT]

over here @TAB

[Daisydreamer]

@MDT you and I had the same thought, I was just about to tag @TAB

Sounds like you have taken a really important step to reach out to lifeline today @MDT. I hope that webchat offers what you are looking for today. Is there anything else you can lean on today (eg: supports, strategies, distractions)?

[MDT]

pretty much the same @Daisydreamer

I used to derive meaning from what it was I was doing on a daily basis - which used to be work - but I have quit that job because it was just not stimulating me enough and it was making me depressed. just an admin role. Plus I had no other things going on in my life really, except for a small work placement on the side related to my study and course but then i finished that in 2018 and its been a while. Nowadays I feel much older than 28 and that I have no gas left in the tank. I feel like i have had more failures than success.
and depends on what i am doing in my life. It was hard to mingle with people when i didnt like my job. But as soon as i quit i felt like i took agency and was able to talk to people better. Case in point, last weekend at a family wedding. But then i did find that drinking too much probably helped at first but then didn't. Plus I'd been driving for 3 hours prior to that. Lately I just don't care..... on the weekend i could've gone to a singles event in my city but i decided against it, i was too tired and embarrassed by my life... i said to my parents that iam bored of this life and that iget sick of talking about it all with my problems with them. my dad got upset saying that as long i was talking to them about it no matter how repetitive it was that it was better than the alternative...

[TAB]

BRB @MDT @Daisydreamer  bit of a nervous stomach this morning ..😁

[TAB]

okay am back @MDT 

[TAB]

might sound over simple but how about you just get another job @MDT  ? okay give yourself a timeframe to get one. 

it might be 'just admin' but prob better than sitting at home worrying yourself into a corner ?

Maybe re-evaluate goals ? perhaps GP or counsellor would be a good starting point, then some sort or structure, or else things dont make sense? lots of people struggle without structure, or it's okay for a while, well til it's not ... 

Any thoughts ?

[MDT]

i am looking at peer support (which is similar to what some people here do on the forums) @TAB as a job on the side while ihave a longer term goal in place.

It is taking a lot of time. But I want to make sure i do it right otherwise i will just end up in a crap situation like i have in the past I guess.

[TAB]

hmm  re crap situations ? do you mean work I guess ? what will be different when you do this other job ? @MDT  How is work so important in your life ? is this new career feasable ?