Good morning to you @Peri and thank you for your very generous response on Sunday. 😊
You mentioned that you had felt highly anxious all last week. Do you think this could be related to your decision to start looking for some part time work? Just a thought. How long has it been now since you were last working? I know you have been working on your CV, and I hope that is progressing well. I expect by now you are ready to start handing out that CV at likely employment prospects.
I'm really happy that your granddaughter brings you such joy. Little girls really are a delight. I still miss very much my little niece, who was only 11 when she died in a car accident. When she was born and for the first 5 years of her life, we lived only 15mins drive from her and her family, and we saw each other a lot. Unfortunately we moved after that and so I did not see her or her brothers very much after that, because we are now 7 hours drive away. I love my 2 nephews, but a niece is different. She used to love looking at some of my jewellery, and I had a number of pieces picked out for her. Some nice necklaces and bracelets which she particularly liked. Now I dont know what I will do with all my 'stuff'. My 2 granddaughters are both 6 years old, but I just dont see them that much .. again the tyranny of distance. So I am so glad you are able to spend this time with your grand daughter.
I know what you mean about being able to concentrate on reading, when anxiety is high. I used to read a lot, a prodigious reader you would probably have called me. In the past 3 years however, I have read just one book. And that one book took me over 2 years. Even though I had gotten into the story, I just could not concentrate long enough to follow it. I found myself constantly having to reread chapters of it, because I discovered that I simply was not taking anything in. There was just too much going on in my head to absorb anything else. So it was a slow process ... and I was happy when I finally managed to complete that book back in October last year. I finally finished it during a visit to my Mum and Dads via train, when my Dad was in hospital after his stroke. My bedside table just seems so bare now, after seeing that damned book there day in day out for nearly 3 years.
The book "Milkman" sounds like a compelling and interesting read, it is also I think fairly heavy reading. Perhaps you could try a book of short stories of something very light for the time being? Have you got anything else you like to try to do for the purpose of distraction? Is there somewhere nice to walk around your place? The extreme heat of summer must be starting to fade by now. Certainly it has here. Nights cooler and days pleasantly warm over the past week. By the calendar, summer is almost over. Although I know there is likely to be plenty of hot days still to come before we are safely into consistent autumn weather. I am hoping that I will feel more like taking an occasional walk soon. I know little Holly would very much enjoy that. I feel I have been neglecting her a lot lately.
Thank you dear Peri, yes I am getting through February, one day at a time. Only a couple more days to go. Its been hard this year. Too much has been happening this part year I guess, and its had the effect of leaving me with less resilience than I usually have. Then those few triggering incidents in the lead up to February and it left me vulnerable, weak, afraid. But I'll get there. Sometimes it surprises me, but I always do get through.
Please Peri, you take care too my friend. And I do consider you a friend, very much so. Thank you for your patience.
Sherry 💕🌼🐶
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