Trying makes it worse

[tonys]

Hi   @Appleblossom  When Dr Corbett's talked about dreaming while your awake.  That put in in perspective for me.   Dreams are a way of the mind reorganising and reordering the upstairs office

Im led to believe.  Being in a nightmare while your walking a city block.  I struggle to think of anything more 

horrifying.   Care in the best hands in a safe secure place would be critical.  any thing less and we have another news headline.   

I do think its very lucky your son has a mum that can,   and does seek out, and fully comprehend such complex knowledge.   It cutting edge research and to be honest,  it take be many revisits to fully grasp

these concepts,  and how I now view and rethink much of what I have seen in my life.

Think back to the great wars,  famines and hardships through the ages,  and  the long term impacts on millions that couldnt benefit from this growing knowledge.    Lobotomy and tragedy.  Thats society without education, wisdom and caring.

Yes well the  NDIS,  I think on it some times and feel a bit guilty and spoilt.  When plotted on a graph

next to history, I fell on the right side of the time line.    Well,  I promise you I will not waste a bit of the wonderful gift it has been for me.  I don't think about weather it will last. Just maximizing the effort put into me.. 

So...    An undiscovered tribe that has never been exposed to religion.  What would a psychotic episode be like for them.  I guess the mind even in total isolation, is wired to foster from its primitive core, a god and a demon to give the minds existence an edge to its universe and,  a hope beyond. 

Give me a bit...          and then would you mind terribly   sending me another dog eared,  wise old friend of yours.  Thanks  @Appleblossom                                                                             Kind thoughts        tonys

[Appleblossom]

Thinking of you @EternalFlower 

Thanks for your lovely letter @tonys 

I have been interested in the field for a long time (50 years) when I first visited my father in Repat psych ward, (yes, war involved) so have had many opportunities to digest these ideas from different angles.  The first book I bought on subject was a 2nd hand mental hygeine nurse's handbook  lol. You are both welcome on my fragile thread. where I post when I am struggling.  There are titbits on that thread I have found helpful, cos it is worth integrating the old knowledge with the newer neuroscience, but for me it is about genuine understanding and wisdom, not the new throwing out the old.  

[EternalFlower]

Hi @tonys @Appleblossom @tyme 

Hugs.

Glad u have that support @tonys 

Thank u @Appleblossom for showing me where to find u. I had a little look but havent seen all of it yet . No problem tagging me.

It is icy here and i am feeling grateful as well

For the good i have.

Money is a bit tight but the ndis gives a little for transport although its fortnightly and not this week. I got a very dumb and annoying ticket for doing an illegal turn which i didnt know was illegal as was following my gps and in a rush to a new place for a psychology appointment. Otherwise i do not turn there.

But i guess this is life.

They said today would be sunny but it was raining. I sat under cover and had a coffee and journalled

I thought of u  @tonys as a man approached me and asked if i was journalling.

After our discussions about how important it is to write things down. Seems i was writing and attracted other writers....which was nice! Charles Bukowski said ....paraphrasing but nothing is more beautiful than words forming on a line .....

The man was in his 70s approx and said he has 98 journals of his life

I told him it must keep his mind sharp.

I made a map of my life and the places ive travelled and some quotes people have said to me. If i see my dr again i will show him 

It felt good to put the low points on paper. They are just words on a line....a story, a captured still scene. Less sting when i see them as a document.

[tyme]

Hey @EternalFlower , so good to see you. Hope you are keeping warm and well.

[Appleblossom]

@EternalFlower 

It was really heart warming to hear your thinking about writing.

Hugs

[tonys]

Mmmm,  50 years of searching.  Wow.   You know, 50 years ago I think I was still rubbing 2 sticks together, trying to make fire.

I would love to see that handbook. My old agg books are grubby, over thumbed, treasures, every page

has scribble and underlined highlights.  I recon yours would be the same,  But I think I lacked the dedication it takes to have a lifelong love affair in a field that takes a hold of your passions.  And in your field, thats what it takes I guess.

I have a sign on the tree back home that says,  If someone can show me a better way,  I'm all ears.

But its just gold,  you remind me about not throwing the old out for the new.  I m a person that at times needs these pearls to be re enforced back into my thinking.  I might put something up about that on the tree next to my sign when I get back home.   I would really struggle without visual cues that guide my thinking..

The fridge and that poor magnolia tree.  Magnets n Nails.

OK  I'll Have a little poke around and then go have a looksee on your  "fragile' thread  . As I whispered the word

a beaker and florence flask rattled on the bench and a light bulb popped.   

Nurse . . .  Meds adjustment.                 Hope you are smiling as you shake  your head in dismay.

Back soon  @Appleblossom 

Hi @EternalFlower    Why don't we make some popcorn and have a look in Apples Boutique cinema.

Which reminds me. I am hopping to have a serious  par lea with you about popcorn variations.

Its a whole food group I feel with a little imagination.

@StuF    Its wet.  don't slip off the rock                     Hi to you too  @Oaktree   @Shaz51 

Have to look out and see how your birthday went.     A creased frown on Rns dial,   gotta go.      tonys              

[Appleblossom]

frown on RNS dial ... @tonys you are hilarious.

pearls ... we can learn a lot from them ... there is another link 

We had an old peearl shell on a bookshelf for a long time ... I loved it ... dad loved it. He also taught me a love of nature.

https://johnmenadue.com 

he can get a bit heavy ... but worth it for a bit of local input.

it is worth having a range of things in our mental scenery ...  it can help if it is curated by more than google search engines..

@EternalFlower 

I also need a bit of visual soothing to the eyes .... how bout you?  what do you like?

[EternalFlower]

Both pictures stunning but the fruit and rug ones are like a hug.

I love looking at cozy, maximalist style homes. It reminds me of something i never had.

My parents were hoarders so we had ten broken tvs but nothing aethetic.

Not a cushion or a picture

So i love looking at delicate images with beautiful little decorations @Appleblossom 

[Appleblossom]

Love that you said maximalist... re homes. @EternalFlower I hated the minimalist craze as it felt so clinical without soul or personality.

I have a lot of second hand furniture and stuff, and not envious of new stuff, cos it is often lousy.

I am not a hoarder, but I do hang onto things. I just never got much in the first place.

Most of my clothes are 10-20 years old and I have 40 year old boots.  I buy quality not quantity.  We have lots of cushions and pictures.  Some pics are framed photos, etchings, tapestry and paintings etc.  I dont have lots knickknocks mostly things given to me by family.  

I used to sew a lot but not any more, eyes are not up to it.  I was brought up to appreciate art even though we were very poor.

Now we can see so many images, maybe too many ... but it is important to balance out all the text and numerics floating around ....

Lovely chatting

Apple

[EternalFlower]

Hi @Appleblossom i agree , op shops are great and all my furniture is from there. I think its great to have things uve kept with history.

My couch was donated from super amart from st vinnies and it is so uncomfortable. 

Minimalism is so stark and also not what i aim for...my psychologist is doing color therapy with me. It was powerful. Lovely chatting