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23-02-2019 02:41 PM
23-02-2019 02:41 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
Seeing your pdoc and sych this week is a good thing @MDT You have a lot to discuss with them but I think you are on the right track by realising that you need to change a few things in your thinking - that is often the most important step.
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23-02-2019 03:10 PM
23-02-2019 03:10 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
It can also be the hardest
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23-02-2019 03:20 PM
23-02-2019 03:20 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
Yes it can be buddy.
Sometimes it is hard to just be ourselves too because we don't know how to be @MDT
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23-02-2019 04:30 PM
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23-02-2019 04:40 PM
23-02-2019 04:40 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
Hey @MDT don't be hard on yourself, you've been working amazingly hard writing job applications and going to the gym every day. That is way more than I can do with my energy & concentration on a daily basis. I worked with a life coach once who said to replace "I should" with "i'd like to.." or "I choose to..." to make it a more positive and your own rather than something someone else is telling you to do. Easier said than done but a nice concept. I can understand not wanting to go out - I'm a big introvert & need lots of time alone - especially if it's not going to feel relaxing & take your mind off things. ANd it's so expensive, even a beer is like $13 now. Have you had some chill out time, do you have a car you can jump in & take off somewhere for a few hours? I like to take of to the bush & hike, I feel a bit weird doing it (hiking for hours) and when fatigue sets in my thoughts turn angry/negative but I feel great afterwards. Feels good & accomplished when i get home & even the next day. On the other hand I can understand if chilling out is not something your brain will do right now if you're stressed. Charity work next week sounds interesting.
hi @Zoe7 , yay I did my 15km hike yesterday. Made cookies today & am eating them quite quickly! I really hope you are having a well-deserved relax and rest this weekend after such a hard working week
hi @TAB hang in there, we're thinking of you.
I got back into job searching today, it was tough but got one application submitted. A rehashed one from last time I applied to the same organisation. Tomorrow is a social day for catching up with friends, hope I can be calm.
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23-02-2019 04:44 PM
23-02-2019 04:44 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
@MDTpublic service applications are a job in themselves. Dense is a polite way of putting it; it's draining trying to sell yourself. Your perseverance is impressive mate! .Hope you're getting some good down time too.
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23-02-2019 05:09 PM
23-02-2019 05:09 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
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23-02-2019 05:23 PM
23-02-2019 05:23 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
Glad you did your hike yesterday @BryanaCamp Yes I am relaxing today - was going to get stuck into the housework but too unmotivated. Not putting any pressure on myself though - have the washing on at least so that is something.
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23-02-2019 05:29 PM
23-02-2019 05:29 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
Yes I have had a restful afternoon. I went to the gym this morning after dropping my mum at the station early on. Had gym and brekky after with my mate. Then grocery shopping. My patience was thin because of the sleep deprivation but also because of the general sense off unease around my situation. But I got back and tried to dose for an hour but it was also meditative. I remembered a few things and also thought about how I can improve my attitude towards myself.
After this I got up and just played xbox for a bit. Watched an episode of Black mirror on netflix and Then read my book which I haven't done for ages. Reading Sherlock Holmes - Hound of the Baskervilles. Quite engaging actually. I miss reading.
My main objection for going out tonight was that the alcohol would effect me. Plus I haven't got much money. It would be a bad combo and I also think that I just need to chill a bit more. The past two weeks have been refreshing so I think this must continue. I also don't want to talk to new people because I have a sense of unease over who I am.
Anyways. Either take out or cookigg here tonight. Haven't decided which.
Hope your days have been good.
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23-02-2019 07:30 PM
23-02-2019 07:30 PM
Re: A new start (kind of)
Hope you are enjoying your evening at home @MDT and everyone else! I need to read hard copy books too but my ruminations make it hard to concentrate/sustain interest sometimes. So have you got a helpful new way of viewing yourself you can share @MDT ?! I sometimes try to say to myself “I am enough” or “it is enough” but I don’t believe it! Here’s a pic from the trip to the sealife place (afterwards my 9 yo swam for ages in the surly surf patrolled by lifesavers). On that note, I’m not thrilled that again we’ll need to be woken at 5am for my 17yo to get to his lifesaving patrol & we need to return my 19yo with all his goods & chattels to study in the city. Crazily we need to return back to the beach to collect the 17yo so he can look after the two younger ones so my husband & I can get to my birthday afternoon tea. I know I’m very fortunate to have lovely family & friends but I really need to make my head an ok place because it seems to be my constant dwelling place. I will keep trying to mindfully live in the present moment even if it’s difficult/unpleasant. I’ll try to actively recall recent good moments/sensations & dwell on them. @MDT & @Zoe7 I also try to say to myself when worrying “right here, right now, things are fine. Anyone got an affirmation for dealing with the non-verbal/dying dementia resident?! Anyway as per Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’s “so long & thanks for all the fish”.....