Hi @Former-Member
I hope it's ok to respond to this. I actually feel very nervous posting here. I can see that you're not feeling great at the moment and don't want to contribute to that, but I am feeling for you and didn't want to ignore that I can see things are hard for you at the moment either. I believe you have made some important points and I respect the effort you have taken to raise these when they may not seem to be heard all of the time.
I've read a few of the thoughts and observations you've had about being on the forum. I can understand how it might feel as if there are groups that are difficult to join in here and how that may feel as if the forum is segregated. I think it's pretty normal for a community or group of people as large as this, to form smaller groups within it. I actually think it would be unnatural (likely, impossible) for the community to function any other way.
In saying that, I can understand the difficulties and challenges this can present. Speaking from my own experience in being part of what I am aware others may see as a smaller group/s (of which there are many), I am mindful that it might be quite difficult or intimidating for others to jump in on what may appear as an ongoing conversation. I wouldn't expect anyone to want to or be able to catch up on or keep up with hundreds of pages of chatter, but I can imagine there may be people who would like to be part of it anyway. From my experience, attempting to enter other parts of the forum like this, has felt like being the new person at school. I genuinely think that for the most part, the majority of people here are aware of this, and from what I have seen they recognise, acknowledge and respond to the effort it takes someone to willingly put themselves out there to join along. I am sorry to hear that it doesn't seem to be the experience you have had.
When threads reach a large size I can see how it may leave people in a bit of a dilemma, as I think we all have a right to join in wherever we would like here, but equally we all have a right to share in a way that works for us for as long as we would like. It also seems like the balance between being inclusive, without overloading and overwhelming ourselves, could be hard to reach sometimes. Similarly, it appears many of us are attempting to find a balance between supporting others and receving support ourselves. I don't think "we" as a community always get it right (again, I think it would be impossible to), and I can see how things can appear unbalanced at times.
I myself, don't see any 'rules' aside from the community guidelines, which I believe are well considered and reasonable. I do see lots of different people joining together to give and recieve support in lots of different ways. I can imagine there are a great number of us who have had our fair share of issues with not fitting in throughout our lives, and I feel sad thinking that there are people who feel as if they don't fit in here. I feel it especially when I consider how diverse the community is. So many of us can also be very sensitive, and I think we as a collective are a vulnerable population. There is also definitely a degree of vulnerability that comes with posting here, both in seeking and providing support. I would imagine self-doubt is another pretty big issue for many of us, which could complicate things also. As @Former-Member and others have noted, all of this has the potential (especially given the lack of cues with online communication) for miscommunication, misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
I have read many of your resposes to others. I can see that you dedicate time, effort and consideration to supporting others, and appreciate and value the care, insight and experience you offer. I can see how it could be a big blow if the support you have offered, feels like it hasn't been well receieved, acknowledged or appreciated. With all of the above plus this, it is understandable that you are going through a tough time here at the moment.
I, along with many others, have heard you Mohill. I don't really have any suggestions, but I think you make some important points and I encourage you to keep raising them as you like, as well as sharing how some of these challenges can be worked through if you can, because I think the forum is an incredibly valuable resource and would like to see as many people as possible benefit from their time here (as I know so many others do too).
Please feel free to disregard any (or all) of this, and respond (or not) in whatever way you like.
I really do hope things feel better for you on the forum soon.
(With a bit of self-doubt, a touch of feeling vulnerable, lots of care, and quite a bit of hesitation, I will hit post now and hope that you receive this well, understanding you may not)
